Before I became a Dad I had very few experiences where I was responsible for children. Other than spending time with two great and extremely disciplined kids (@lucymfel’s nephews), which are a pleasure to spend time with I can say that being a Dad is the only other occasions where I am taking care of a young one.
I have never been able to get along with bratty kids. Since I was usually the uncle, adult, cousin, friend of the family, or complete stranger making disciplinary corrections on other kids they tend to control their behavior around me or stay clear away from me.
As a new parent I don’t want to give in to my daughters requests and it worries me that even at almost 9 months sometimes I make sure she gets what she wants so she can be comfortable. I guess my gut will tell me when I need to put my foot down but as of right now I don’t think she clearly understands completely what she needs. So far I make sure I run to her side as soon as she cries and comfort her it is only in my nature and going against it would only make it more difficult on me. On the other side once she starts understanding things I want to make sure I am there to be her dad first and not her buddy.
About a year ago I went to a parenting expo where there was a psycologist on stage talking about her latest book “No Dejes que tu Hijo te Saque el Mostro” (translated in english it means to not let your child get the best of you). I remember she gave an example on how kids would test you to the point of even embarrassing you to get what they want.
Flipping it around
The psychologist’s suggestion was to flip it around on the kid. If your kid knows you will be embarrassed he will attempt stunts to take you out of your comfort zone. If the kid succeeds every time he throws a fit I can assure you that he will take complete control over you and taking control back will not be easy.
Putting a Poker Face on
The worst thing you can do is appeared flustered by your kid’s actions. Never allow them to think that you are getting bothered or embarrassed and even worst yet give them what they want to stop the terrible behavior. On my side I recommend to put up a poker face and demonstrate that it did not bother you.
Using Unorthodox methods to get your point across
The video he psychologist shared was one that a kid dropped on the floor at a grocery aisle throwing a fit. Once the mom saw this she also went on the floor kicking and throwing her arms copying her kid’s actions. Once the kid saw that behavior he decided to pull back and behave. The message was clear the mom demonstrated that she was not bothered and although it might have appeared that she lost control she clearly kept it my not giving into her kid.
Every loving Parent is at Risk
I guess giving is something any loving parent can easily fall into. Having the fortitude of not falling for it makes you an even better parent. My next post was on how my mom dealt with me when I told her I was running away to get my way. If you are interested in receiving the Papaheroes.com newsletter feel free to subscribe and receive it via email.
Any ways you try not to give in?