Family fitness is on top of my priority list. A few days ago I was at the Fitness Studio I train at and I watched a dad bring his daughter who might have been around 10 years of age for personal training. The girl seems to be an outstanding golfer at her age. At first I was very proud of the Dad that took his daughter to improve her game and enhance her performance. I see the part that he is taking care of his daughter and that is a great start. The part that concerned me a bit was that he was truly there to make her compete harder. As I kept on training I realized the dad was just sitting there while he kept on barking instructions. I concluded that the reason the Dad brought the kid in was so she could get better at her game not really worried about her health and fitness. At first I thought he was a proud dad trying to motivate his daughter but I realized the guy seemed to be some sort of “Stage Dad”.
Leading By Example
Everything I commit myself to I try to lead by example. It has been part of my life mantra that I don’t ask of others what I can’t deliver.
It’s easier from the Bleachers or Couch
I was a bit troubled by the fact the dad was just sitting there while his daughter was going through the work out. Here is a dad telling his daughter that he was glad to finally see her sweat and put in the hard work while he sat on a bench. It reminded me of a clip of one of these reality shows where Stage Mom’s seek for their daughter to become beauty pageant queens. It’s always easier to tell others to do what we ourselves can’t commit too.
A Good Reminder
That moment served as good reminder that I need to follow through by being an example to my daughter. I eat healthier so she can eat healthy and hopefully in the future follow my lead. I exercise so in the future she sees the value in exercising.
Areas to Work on
As I try to improve myself I still have issues with my potty mouth in front of her. So just as that dad sitting on the bench barking orders probably knows he needs to live a healthier lifestyle, I need to have a healthier and more appropriate vocabulary in front of my daughter.
What Will You work on?
Let’s use our strengths to work on our weaknesses. What do you think? What can you improve?
Quick Video
Here is a quick video that Andres, my personal trainer, took of Daniela and I while working out. I have the privilege to take my daughter with me at least once a week to the Fitness Studio. Since Andres is also my client, we will be sharing some more info on family fitness over at Fit911studio.com so stop by and subscribe.
Great post Raul. I like how you point out the benefits of leading by example. The video of you and Daniela is the best part of all : )
Diane,
Thanks for stopping by and reading this.
Yes I respect how everyone decides to take care o their kids but it really bothers me when the parents are telling the kids one thing and them doing something else.
Yes the video was a treat by Andres.
You know, it’s funny you should write about this, for this sunday’s DaddyKnows touches on the same topic. Leading by example. We puertoricans have a saying “no prediques la moral en calzoncillos” which roughly translates to “don’t preach morals in your underwear” or “don’t preach morals, while being inmoral”. I believe that we learn from what we are told, but more from what we see (or don’t see). For example, if my dad always played with me when I was little, I learned I must play with my kids now that I have them. Which I do!
Great post, mafrén. I only have one question: did you approach the father in some way, to help him with his wrong attitude towards teaching his child? I bet, that while he’d probably wouldn’t have appreciated the free advise, he would’ve battled with the thought later on. Maybe even produced a positive change in him. Just a thought.
He might not see what he’s doing, you know?
Rick,
After 30 minutes of listening to this rhetoric and how he seemed to have an upper edge at life than most of us I restrained from making any comments or approaching him. I know someone approached him on coming to the gym and loosing weight. But as far as parenting advice I decided to keep it to myself because it was more than clear than in his head his kid was going to be the Next Tiger Woods (in Female).
Not sure if he read even a bit of Tiger Wood’s Dads Biography to understand his approach was far off.
If I see him again and get to understand him better maybe I will. But so far this was weeks ago and he only visited the place once.
I loved this! I understand how parents can say one thing to their child and not represent it well themselves. I think I am guilty of that, but I know when I do it, it is because I want my kids to be stronger than I. I want their will to be strong even if I can’t quite get mine there. The difference between a “Stage Dad” and me is clear… I tell my kids I am weak…and I do not want them to be like me in this area. I tell them I have low willpower, and ask them to not let the loud voices inside get to them. I show them where I have failed so that they can recognize it and rise above it. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t but most times, either way, they have a better appreciation of that area in their life. That is true parenting in my eyes.
@ronhood:disqus the interactions I have had with you online and over the phone clearly define you as a true mentor and motivator. We all have our weaknesses I guess its the way we project and build our kids to be stronger than us. We will all be at faults every once in a while of doing things we need to improve. These events I run into serve as a reminder of doing my best to lead by example. Thanks for sharing… Did you see my little one Training with me?
I did see that little bundle of cuteness! I admit, it made me go, “Awwww!” You are a good Dad and one day she will realize that she is very lucky to have an involved father like you! 🙂
@ronhood:disqus you are too kind… My main goal is to have a successful daughter like yours who trusts many things with her father. I want to be her mentor like you are for me and your daughter. Thanks again.