When we found out we were going to be parents last May, it was a total shock for my mate and I. Well let me say that I was in shock for about three days and could not wrap my head around it until I started telling my immediate family. My neighbor and cousin who helped during my “kidney stone” (which I thought was the issue) where notified before many other people.
I threatened my mate with all sorts of things if he posted the information on-line with folks we had just met, write about it in his blog, or even with his extended circle of friends on all social platforms. Since it was my first pregnancy and due to other health issues, I just wanted to be safe and wait till the first doctor’s visit to make sure that the blood tests were correct. As soon as I started telling my closest friends and when people would see me, they began to give advice on what I should and shouldn’t be doing during my pregnancy.
I received unsolicited advice from a lady who saw me eat my only bag of chips throughout my nine months because I had not taken a snack with me in route from one doc’s appointment to the next. Yes I snapped at her and said that I eat healthier than most and one bag of chips was not going to hurt the human who was almost on her way out.
Great Advice from a True Mentor
I remember one of our mentors who has become one of our Parent Mentors writing on Twitter to some of us who were in the same boat as new parents-to-be , “Los futuros nuevos padres preparense. Dondequiera que vayan con su bebé va a venir una persona con opiniones y consejos. paciencia!” or “To the future new parents, prepare yourselves, where ever you go with the baby, along will come some person with opinions and advice. Patience.”
A Year Later
Almost a year later we have heard lots of advice and opinions on how we are raising our little lady. And every word our Parent Mentor said rings true and is the first thing that pops into my head when someone asks us her weight, height, eating habits, sleeping habits, if she is a good baby, if she is walking, what to do if she is not sleeping through the night, why we are not giving her a t-bone steak, etc.
We have several people who we consider our Parent Mentors because they have been mentors for us before we even found out we were going to be parents. Their way of telling us things comes from a good place of wisdom, knowledge, and the fact that they too were new parents. Some are single parents, some are not parents but who have the wisdom of parents, some are two parent families, some are parents of kids in their twenties, in college, and elementary school children. They also don’t judge us with harsh looks or words, instead they have a way of telling us that there are other ways of doings things to help our daughter progress.
We have run into the Parent-Knowit-Alls, those people who have the genius child that walked at seven months, who now speaks five languages, and is an engineer with their legos. They will tell us that the baby is too needy, she needs to cry to open up her lungs (she is breastfed and exercises her lungs frequently), she better get her vaccine shots on time or else, she better eat meat (since we are vegetarian) or she will be weak and frail.
I will sometimes just listen to what they say or just outright disagree with them when they say things that don’t make sense to me with current facts. Some of these folks were parents long ago and don’t realize that we have evolved. I have disagreed with some things the Parent Mentors have said, but throughout the first year, all the advice and opinions have helped us with our daily adventures with our daughter.
Follow your Gut Feelings
To the new moms and dads, go with what you know, listen to those who have been there, weed out the advice and opinions that don’t jive with you, and put into practice what your heart tells you. Once you get over the first year, there are more adventures to come. So I hope I don’t sound like a Parent Knowit-All , but a new parent coming into her own and finding interesting articles for other new parents to read about from what things you can do with your little ones for Christmas, to advocating breastfeeding, preparing homemade baby food and having your baby eat real foods.
The best piece of advice I got from two veteran parents was that Vicks is great for swelling.
How do you act when you get advice from Parent-Knowit-Alls?
Do you have a Parent Mentor?
Photo credit by diyosa
Raul Colon says
Thankfully we have had great individuals and mentors like @therealgabo and @guarionex88 who have offsetted the Know it alls
Well it was @therealgabo who provided me the quote above. Of course he used more colorful words. LOL
Rick Lipsett says
Awesome post! rings quite a few bells. Love the closing statement. “Follow your gut feeling.” Unless that gut feeling tells you to run from the chaos and jump in front of a 18 wheeler! just joking. heh heh.
A lot of people have a lot to say. Even I have succumbed to this when trying to help a few friends. But they solicited the advise. Honest!
I have asked questions on FB regarding certain things for instance a holistic teething remedy. I got lots of responses but several stated I should rub some alchohol on my daugter’s teeth. I wanted something holistic and that is what I got as a response? I of course did not do this because if I didn’t take a shot while I was pregnant why would I put the alchohol on her gums. So I researched a bit more and came across a great solution called frozen carrots or fruit in a baby mesh.
It is the unsolicited advice or the twenty thousand questions and comparisons that I don’t like. As a former teacher I learned that everychild reaches milestones at differente times.