There comes a time in every parents life where they have to deal with tantrums. Once you are a parent you understand a bit better on how sometimes getting control of a situation seems to be easier said than done.
The only valuable advice I can provide other parents is to keep calm. Similar to other situations in life, keeping calm will help you deal with a toddler tantrum a lot better.
Most of my daughter’s tantrums are triggered by the fact that her geeky parents (especially me) want to immerse her in technology. She has been playing with an iPad since she was three months old.
We would be able to take away any item (or gadget) and our daughter would move on and go to the next thing.
Lately she has been throwing small tantrums when she wants something and does not get it immediately. I did some research in trying to find a solution and I found two articles which where very helpful. Our common sense has been to remove her from the situation that caused the tantrum as quickly as possible; we also confirmed this is a good approach.
Before removing your child from the situation it is critical to identify if the child is:
- Pleas for Attention
Dr. Sears recommends keeping a tantrum journal to see what sets him off. Maybe an application like Evernote on your phone can facilitate making note of these. (Reference – http://www.parenting.com/article/ask-dr-sears-intolerable-toddler-tantrums)
Independence vs dependence.
In my case, my daughter’s can-do attitude only worsens the situation when I try doing stuff for her. She reminds me that I am there to help her. That way she learns how to do it and it becomes beneficial to all parties.
One of the first words we have been helping my daughter understand is “Ayuda” (which means help in Spanish). This might be a way to defuse the situation and allow her to ask for help before she becomes frustrated.
Tag Your Teammate
I remember when I watched the WWF (now WWE) when I was a kid. My favorite events were when it was tag team wrestling. When a wrestler got tired or into trouble, he would tag his partner who usually was in a better state to take care of business. On some occasions you might need the help of those who are around you. If you are a single parent, I tip my hat off to you. For single parents maybe a family member or close friend can come in an assist.
As other professionals mentioned in the sources we share below, they emphasize that tantrums are a completely normal part of the Toddler’s development.
Any tips on how you deal with your Toddler Tantrums?
Would love to continue sharing ideas in the comments area!
- Your 17-month-old’s behavior: Self-control — or lack thereof
- Toddler Tantrums – Dealing with Toddler Temper Tantrums
Since I began using Facebook in 2006 I remember I have had a few situations where I have received friend requests from Kids who are in the family or are the kids of my close friends.
Over the years my way of thinking has changed drastically on accepting friend requests from kids and although I have a few exceptions like kids in my family I have opted for not accepting any friend requests from kids. I am mainly talking about Facebook because this type of behavior is more common on this platform but my thoughts would apply to most social platform.
Accepting Friend Requests from your Kids Friends
A few weeks ago this post was inspired when Chris Brogan during Kitchen Table Talks on the Pulse mentioned that our good friend Berni (@bernixiong) had received friend requests from her son’s friends. I guess that since my daughter is a few days over a year old I won’t be having that problem anytime soon but I can clearly relate with Berni based on past experiences where kids sent me friend requests and I had to decline.
Issues with Accepting Friend Requests from Kids
Accepting friend requests from Kids can cause many future issues and misunderstandings and rejecting a friend request from a kid might not be the easiest thing to do since you probably don’t want to hurt their feelings but overall it is very risky and my recommendation is to reject those friend requests in a polite way.
For example on occasions I might post something that might not be completely appropriate or understood correctly by a young kid. These happen rarely on my timeline but some topics and content are not appropriate for kids. I personally try to share online what I understand my mom or grandma would not be embarrassed to see but sometimes some of the topics my contacts are writing about in which I respond might also not be appropriate for kids.
If these apply to you it is recommended to reject the friend request:
When you are their Teacher, Counselor, or Coach.
In some places like Missouri a Senate Bill 54 makes it illegal for teachers to connect with students on any type of social networking site that allows private communications. The bill needs some tweaking because it has lots of gray areas but personally I would follow what the bill establishes. If you are also in any position of authority like a sports coach, counselor, or babysitter you should try to stay away from keeping in contact on platforms that have a private communications channel.
When they are your Kids Friends
You never know with what intentions your kid’s friends are sending friend requests on Facebook (let’s hope they are well intentioned). It is better to politely decline and let them know you only use the platform for family members and other adults.
When the Kids are Strangers
I clearly stay away from accepting friend requests from strangers on most platforms unless they have something interesting in their blogs or content they share that is of value to me. But when it comes to kids I don’t accept kids that are not family members.
The only exception in my case when accepting friend request with kids on Social Networks is if they are part of my family. In my case I have Lucy’s nephews and I communicate with them through Facebook very often. I see them as my nephews also and most importantly their mom is ok with me having them as my contacts. I also keep an eye on them to make sure they are safe online. Always be very transparent when you add a kid even if they are family let their parents know and verify if it is ok to have them as a contact on Facebook. Don’t assume it is ok.
Be also careful when Adding Contacts
When you add people in your social networks via email make sure that the adult that owns the email is using the email. I have seen a few adults that give their kids their email to open up a Facebook account and you might be sending a request to the parent and friending their son or daughter. I had a very uncomfortable situation when I used the application on Facebook to add my Gmail contacts as friends.
A friend of mine had given his daughter his email so she could open her Facebook account and I believe at the moment she was not old enough to use the platform. On one occasion he asked me why I had sent a request to his daughter on Facebook. I really had no answer because I had not sent his daughter any request. I felt very uncomfortable because I put myself in his issues and thought it was a bit strange that someone would want to add his daughter on Facebook. Weeks later I ran my Gmail contacts to see who else had joined Facebook in my contacts and I see his daughter on the friends suggested I confirmed that I had sent his email a friend request and his daughter accepted it. This guy is not very tech savvy so till this day I am not sure if he understood that I had sent him a friend request and since his daughter has signed up to Facebook using his email account it went to her.
Till this day it bothers me that someone allowing their kid to use a platform they don’t understand when they are not even of the appropriate age to use the platform. He was very irresponsible because he did not know better but it was easier for him to question my actions.
Always check your contacts to make sure you have the right people. You don’t want any surprises.
Who is friending your kids?
On the other side it is critical that you as a parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, or guardian keep an eye on how is adding your kids as their contacts on social platforms. I will leave this topic for future posts. If you want to receive future posts via email feel free to subscribe to our mailing list.
If you have any questions, comments, or concerns regarding friending children or adding them to your social networks feel free to share in the comments area or contact us directly.
The problem I see very often is that when a kid looks for mentorship many parents or individuals are really not showing their kids on how to really give without expecting anything back. A few days ago I was able to see how my good friend and Co-Founder of Papaheroes.com Mr. Rick Lipsett does teach a few of us by leading by example.
He is the same individual who takes out of his time to create our weekly DaddyKnows cartoon which many of you get to get a laugh out every Sunday.
Rick also spends a lot of his time without receiving any economical benefit in promoting art locally and in other events where his intentions are to give back.
This past Saturday I had the privilege to observe Rick while he was running the Sole Plus table at the Converse Open Gym in San Juan.
For those of you not familiar with Sole Plus or the Open Gym let me break it down to you in my own words based on my experience in San Juan.
The Open Gym is an event created by Converse in which our youth get to play in a basketball tournament, jerseys and other equipment is provided, live DJ, free haircuts, pictures on a blue screen where it seems your posing with NBA players, and the Sole Plus area.
In the Sole Plus Area Kids and Teenagers can create a mock up of a Converse Sneaker concept. Once they finish they hand it over and compete for a 100-dollar Converse Gift Card. My favorite part is that the design and concept that wins gets created into a real sneaker by an artist and given to another child.
During the event the Sole Plus table was full and we needed more seats and tables so others could join. At moments kids and teenagers where creating art all around the table. I was able to observe the creative juices of the volunteers and participants for many hours without any breaks.
My Key Takeaways from Sole Plus
Rick over a year has taught me many things but in less than one day Rick was able to hand me a few nuggets of knowledge along an awesome experience.
Meeting Very Talented Artists
Those that know me very well understand that I am not very artistically gifted. On occasions just making the first letter of my name legible can be a challenge. For the same reason it make me appreciate art a lot more. For me it is such a huge challenge that I admire those that with a pencil, brush, crayon, or marker can create a masterpiece.
I had the opportunity to chat and exchange many ideas with Ivelisse Brignoni and Erick Carreras both who created two mock-ups of a Sneaker concept in minutes so others could have inspiration in their designs.
Erick was very hand on as Rick had described. Erick quickly created a mock up of a sneaker that many admired throughout the day. Erick came along with his 16-year-old son who also was of great help to Rick at the Sole Plus Table. I can already see Erick has done an awesome job as a parent since spending time with his son helped me perceived that.
Ivelisse was also very hands on by bringing in a few ideas which quickly transformed the Sole Plus from a designing table or area into an active gallery where those who created a mock up would be able to enjoy their creation amongst others who where at the event.
I can’t wait to have the opportunity to spend more time with Erick and Ivelisse in the near future.
How Sharing Ideas Can make a Difference
I am a big advocate for sharing ideas because everyone will execute them differently. On many occasions I saw the guidance of the artists volunteering to be the kindle that some of the participants needed to fuel their creativity. As parents we need to make sure to step in and give our kids support so they can motivate themselves in creating art and accomplishing many things.
Mixing Sports, Fashion, and Art
I truly saw the value that the Sole Plus table has for many of the participants. We all know that many of those who want to play basketball do it for fun but maybe a kid or two might find their calling in art when they decide they are just average in sports. In many occasions I see parents pushing their kids towards sports but maybe their calling is elsewhere. I remember seeing the opposite with a high school friend, his calling was for sports but his dad wanted him to be an Architect. The problem was that by not supporting his Son in what he had passion for he entered college to study architecture and did not last a semester. He later struggled with school and I am not sure if he ever finished the other degree he went for.
By giving our children many options so they can try and choose in what they are interested in gives them a better opportunity to be passionate about what they are doing.
Overall they few hours I spend at @soleplus where very gratifying and I can’t wait till the next one where I have a few more ideas to enhance the overall experience.
It would also be great to know if you are an artist who can help out at the next Sole Plus or the Sole Plus near you feel free to contact us. I am sure they are always looking for awesome volunteers to help inspire creativity in our youth.
For a while now, I’ve been telling my daughter to use her imagination whenever possible. You see, for the past few months, she’s been choosing television or her Nintendo DS over playing with her imagination.
I tell her that her imagination’s way much better. She can daydream her way out of anything. She can create worlds unimaginable by others and rule them with her thought. Meet creatures and dwarfs or whatever she wishes. Become a princess or turn me into a frog. It doesn’t matter, as long as she uses it.
Since all her friends carry their electronic devices with them, it is only natural that she do the same. Trouble is, those games are like coloring books: you only fill in with color, but the outline and image is created for you. To imagine is to be creative. To know how to think and solve problems. I’ve had a handful, to say the least.
No TV Day
A few weeks ago, I planned a no TV / no Nintendo DS / Wii day. At first she thought it was punishment, but after she saw how much fun we could have together while being silly and fooling around, she came around to accepting the notion of not being plugged in to a device for a whole day.
A Helpful Friend
Her best friend, God bless her, prefers to play outside than be indoors with a control in her hand. She rides her bike, plays with her dogs and imagines anything to keep her brain busy. My daughter, although sometimes gets her way and gets her to play video games, but she’s starting to come around, and plays outside more. Be it frisbee throwing, doll playing or anything, she’s starting to see how much fun, playing outside can be.
The Perfect Balance
I’m not preaching against digital toys. I like them, so it wouldn’t be right to prohibit them, while I play them when they sleep. What I try to convey is that they need a balance. they can play with their DS’s, just to make sure they use their noggin’s also.
What do you think about this?
One of the first features that everybody said an Apple tablet was going to be good at was reading books. The iPad launched with the iBooks app that allowed users to buy and read books.
These books range from the traditional Fiction and Non-Fiction categories, but also include children’s books. It’s very interesting that the children’s category is there since the iPad is ideal to read, thanks to the screen size.
But Apple didn’t just stop at making children’s books or the iBook app. They have built the ideal app to help kids learn how to read with some features that sure come in handy. In the latest update they included:
- Help your children learn to read with the new read-aloud feature included in select children’s books from the bookstore.
- The read-aloud feature uses a real narrator to read the book to you, and in some books, it will even highlight the words as you read along.
- Enhanced books can now automatically play audio or video included with the book.
Let’s highlight the read-aloud feature. When enabled, iBooks can read-aloud your book and at the same time it will highlight the words it is saying. It can also be set to turn over the pages automatically so you can always keep on track on whatever you are reading.
To see it in action, watch the video below from The iOS Post.
There is a vast selection of books for children that are free and some you have to pay for. There are books about movies and books about classic characters.
iBooks is a free app from Apple and available in the App Store [iTunes Link]. The feature is also supported on iPhone and iPod Touch.
Communication is such an important tool. It’s what we use to impart our wisdom and exchange information. As parents it’s important to establish trust and create an open conversation with our children. Effective communication begins by talking to them on their level or in a way that is age appropriate. It is a two way street requiring you to listen without interruption as well as making yourself available to them. Carving out this time to share will expand the time you actually spend talking.
Today one of the most popular ways of ‘talking’ to each other is via text messages. In today’s post I’ll share some Emoticons with you to dress up your texts. Smileys or Emoticons are formed from keyboard characters. They are used to indicate emotions and are super fun and easy to create.
Here a few for you to start with.
: – )…
: – 7
: – D
>: – (
Smiling with curls
Smiling with cap
Happy and crying
Angry, yet sad
Angry and swearing
Sticking out tongue
Very cute winking.
I’m sure you’ve seen some of these before. Do you have any to contribute?
Enjoy and have fun communicating.
photo credit by shannonyeh.photography
photo credit by *L*u*z*A*
A few days ago I woke up thinking it was late although I still felt a bit tired. I did wake up very early considering I went to bed late (like always) I should have slept a bit more but knowing how much work I had I was fighting to get out of bed. I have always been an early riser although I tend to go to sleep a lot later now so it translated into a late wake up.
That day I really wanted to stay in bed but something magical happened. When I was fighting my decision to get up. I looked to my side and my daughter Daniela was smiling at me and greeting me. I guess at almost 6 months old she has enough energy to convince me that having the opportunity to wake up and enjoy her is motivation enough to get up and start producing.
I had always heard how people would say that their kids motivated them. I guess hearing about it and really experiencing it are two different things.
I have always been very loyal to my close friends and family and I would do anything for them. But being a new dad makes me understand what everyone was trying to convey and if I would do something for them I can’t imagine what I would do with my Daughter.
My daughter fills me with energy every morning when I see her smile, giggle, or make baby noises.
What things motivate you?
How do your kids play into your daily motivation?
I really want to read your thoughts and experiences on how your kids get you motivated.