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I got it Dad

May 16, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Every parent’s main goal is to help his or her children on the road to being independent. My daughter is 16 months old and I get amazed on how fast she grows and how much she is learning.

Observing her especially in my first hour every morning leads me to see how she wants to try things on her own. She started requesting to feed herself months ago, now she brushes her teeth (toothbrush & water), and lately the list of things she wants to do on her own is endless.

The Main Goal

This past march when I went to SXSWi I had the opportunity to meet Aaron Manley from @motorphilia. I first heard of Aaron when @chrisbrogan wrote “Buy a Car Off The Internet”. Since then I have been reading the awesome content and stories Aaron shares online. I had the opportunity to spend an hour with Aaron and it was an enlightening experience on how Aaron sees life.  Aaron is an extremely positive guy and since I met him I have been working on seeing the positive side of many aspects in my life.

Key Take Away

Talking with Aaron there was one specific lesson that I took away from the conversation. I remember Aaron mentioned that his goal in life is to be able to see and make his kid become independent. In his words he feels he did his job when his son is ready for the many challenges in life.

Early Signs of Independence

As my daughter continues to learn and become more independent I see that little by little she is telling me to back off. There are moments where she is telling me in her own way Dad I got this. I recently experienced it with an iPad app she enjoys which is called Wood Puzzle. Thanks to Mommy Beta’s review and a recommendation from the folks of Daddy On Board it is the IOS app that I have gotten the most parenting value from yet.

The objective of the Wood Puzzle First Years for iPad is to place shapes into corresponding slots. My daughter does a good job with placing many of the items with a few other I give her a hand. On most occasions when I try to help her she brushes my hands of the screen and continues the attempts.

Babies and children have a unique way to focus on something and accomplish the task at hand; so stopping them might not be the best idea.

In my case I will continue to motivate Daniela in trying her best at the iPad app which will hopefully lead to other things in the future when Daniela says “Dad don’t worry I got this”.

Filed Under: Papá Heroes, Parental Advice, ParentHood Tagged With: , , ,

My First Hour

April 13, 2012 by 5 Comments

One of the things that changed the most since I became a dad is how I start my day. Before I use to wake up and either get ready to take off for a client or answer emails and get to the key things I had to start in the morning.

Since my daughter was born things have changed greatly and I have to say I enjoy my mornings (and the rest of the day) even more.

The Alarm Clock I love

I have never enjoyed using Alarm clocks in the morning. I have always been very good at getting up in the morning at the time I needed to get up at. Plus having a beeping sound alert you to have you wake up is not probably the best way to start the day.

I guess than since I live on a tropical island and the sun is always beaming that is nature’s way of waking you up in a relaxed manner. At my house know I have two alarm clocks one is my Black Labrador Juanga and the other one is my 15 month old daughter.

Our daughter sleeps in her room and we have decided not to put her in a crib so mom sleeps with her on a mattress on the floor. We don’t need to worry about falling out of a crib or climbing over. She rolls right up and goes straight for toys or books that are at arms lengths for her. For the last few weeks she has decided to walk over to my bed in the early morning and wake me up with the most enchanting smile only a Dad would understand.

Wake Up Call

Once she wakes me up she makes hand gestures so I can play music. I reach for my iPhone turn on Spotify and play a diverse selection of my favorite waking up music. We also read a bit especially when she brings books to me. She is more into the images than the text so she ends up pointing at the images in the book so I can name the items or people in them.

 

Embracing Technology

She also enjoys playing with the few apps we have for her on the iPad. One of her favorites is a wood puzzle app that was recommended by our friends of Daddy On Board and Mommy Beta.

While we are running through these activities we might let Mom rest a bit more since she normally takes care of the late night shift. When mom is up it also gives mom the chance to prepare breakfast for everybody.

I have to say that the opportunity I have to spend time with my daughter is one that starts my day in a good way. Running a business with my business and life partner and running other efforts takes up a huge part of my day and sometimes I feel like I have not spent as much time as I wanted. Spending time with her in the morning allows me to have quality time with her and then focus on the tasks at hand the rest of the day.

Working from home also gives me the opportunity that the almost 2 hours I use to spend in traffic in the morning I can enjoy my daughter and walk to my desk.

How do you start the morning? What time of day do you make sure you spend time with your kids or loved ones?

 

Filed Under: Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: , ,

My Favorite HOME Team

April 3, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Me with the Cold Steel Platton Fort Lee, VA circa 1999

One of the things I learned while being in the military was the fact that teamwork is critical at every level when it comes to accomplishing a mission.

Even something as simple as cleaning the barracks while in Basic Training you have to make sure everyone is pulling their weight and giving it their best.  If someone decides to slack everyone else suffers consequences (during basic training it was in many occasions more push ups)

Being part of many teams from the military, sports, accounting, consulting teams, and let’s not forget the @papaheroes alliance.

If you find the right people you can either join or be part of an important team.

A team I joined 15 months ago

Well Lucy and me ended up creating a small team. We recruited our first member by adopting Juanga (our Black Labrador) to keep Lucy Company while I was working late in the San Juan Metro area.

With Juanga we had an idea of what it meant sacrificing to make sure his quality of life was good. Juanga is a critical part of the family. Not only does he entertain us he is the best alert system possible when it comes to letting us know someone is approaching the house.

Youngest member of the team

Months later we found out that we where adding a key member my now 15-month-old daughter. Our daughter has been a key player in keeping our spirits up since the last year has been a very difficult one in many aspects (especially on the business side). Having her do something silly or just offering me a kiss will bring my spirits up and focus on getting everything up to speed.

I have to thank my daughter and Lucy for helping me overcome hurdles by providing me with the love and support they give me daily.

Depending on Other Team Members

My daughter and Juanga are dependent of us for their well-being. In Juanga’s case he will be always dependent. With my daughter we try to make her as independent as possible. She already eats on her own, plays on her own for short periods of time, and even takes the risk of climbing up and down the stairs under our supervision (although we prefer to keep her away from the stairs for know).

However our daughter will be dependent on us for many more years.

Since Lucy decided to Breastfeed our daughter a few nights ago was the first night our daughter was not breastfeed given that Lucy was taking medications and we would rather not have her consume any of those chemicals. Our daughter got very limited sleep which in turn made us get very little sleep because she could not have what comforts her during the evening which is natures pacifier.

We tried substituting with other liquids but we could clearly see that she wanted to be breastfed.

A Well Run Unit

When our daughter is breastfed she is a happy baby. However we see how Mother Nature creates a bond with mom and daughter to the point that when one is not functioning correctly the other one gets affected which in turn affects me (and even Juanga).

Mother nature is incredible in the great way she has planned everything out and we have received great benefits from Lucy breastfeeding our daughter. We have stayed away from doctors other than for vaccines and checkups.

I am fan of breastfeeding and I guess last night was a small loss (of sleep) compared to the great benefits we all have received as a family.

I tip my hat off to those parents where their kids have health issues. I am blessed to have such a healthy daughter and we do our best by giving her the best chances in nutrition and other factors to keep her that way.

If you still are not convinced that breastfeeding is something you should consider as a parent maybe this image we shared previously can convince you other wise.

As a Family how do you keep everything running while keeping your family healthy?

Do you care about your home team?

 

Filed Under: Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: , , ,

Bad Ass Breastfeeding

February 15, 2012 by 6 Comments

I saw this picture posted on Momastery‘s Facebook Wall by a gentleman. A discussion started about the picture and how some women thought that breastfeeding was a private act while others were saying this should be seen as the norm. In my opinion the best answer came from the gentleman himself in that it should not be seen as remarkable or uncommon. You can click the link and scroll down the page to participate in the discussion if you wish.

Our decision to breastfeed

At my home we did formula feeding and alternated with expressed breastmilk and breast. I did all three and looking back , I should have taken the advice from my sister in motherhood in the picture above. The more I read about breastfeeding, the less I used formula. When my daughter was three months, I decided that breast was the best option for her and stopped alternating between formula and breastmilk.

This decision came after I sat down to read about the pros and cons of formula versus breastfeeding on various sites such as @babygooroo and various videos on youtube. We are vegetarians  and vegan in our home and try eat the best food all of the time. So giving my daughter formula did not go with our philosophy about food. My partner was going to support whatever decision I made when it came to breastfeeding. So I decided on breastfeeding one hundred percent with expressed milk in a bottle when we went out so my partner could also help.

“Mamá Teta”

Thirteen months later, we see the benefits of our decision. Our daughter has been lucky not to get sick, she has so much energy sometimes I get exhausted, and breastfeeding is something I do inconjunction with solids. Since she can now ask for breastmilk or  ”Teta” in Spanish, I am glad I made the decision to go with exclusive breastfeeding. She has also started saying, “Mamá teta” together just this week.

I rarely saw women around me breastfeed but I knew I wanted to try. I support any women’s right to choose what is best for their situation or circumstance. I will support any friend or family member that chooses to breastfeed and offer her my advice from my experience. What I won’t support is the bashing women get for breastfeeding their children.

Mother Nature

I think some folks in society have forgetten that mother nature has a purpose for everything that surrounds us. I learned that from my Uncle Pete who loved nature and told us that everything is interconnected with us. As much as we have advanced with technology, we need to go back to man’s earliest habits such as breastfeeding and going to mother nature for cures when it comes to our health. I use plants to help me with my kidney stones instead of pharmaceutical pills.

So when I look at the picture above, I don’t see anything that shocks me, except that mom has a machete and I would not want to be her husband getting home late from hunting. But in the chance I ever get flack from someone about breastfeeding in public, I’ll give my sister in the picture a holler and tell her to get that machete ready.

What do you see in the picture above? 

Check out The Calming Contest on PapaHeroes and tell me this has not happened in your home.

Here is the link originally posted on the Facebook wall where the picture originated.

Photo Credit by Free Thoughts Blog

If you happen to find the original picture, please let me know. I give like to give credit where it is due.

Filed Under: Family, Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: , ,

All Aboard @TheDaddyOnBoard Train

January 26, 2012 by Leave a Comment

A month ago we were sent a link via Twitter by one of our Parent Mentors Gabriel to listen to a show called The Daddy on Board. I know I was busy that day and I started listening to the show after finally putting the little lady to bed. The show is hosted by @MikeQuackenbush father to Elliot (2.5) and @ClaytonMorris father to Miles (1.5) and a new baby coming this year.

(L) Clayton Morris and (R) Mike Quackenbush

 

I started listening to the DOB (as the dads like to call it) where they talked about a wide variety of topics. The dads bring humor and seriousness to the topics they are discussing and as parents, they will make you smile and laugh and say “Oh Yes” or “Oh I didn’t know that”. They highlight parent victories, technological applications you may be using with your children, and information that is relevant to parenting.

Papaheroes on the DOB

As we approached minute 28, I heard them mention our site and one of the posts I wrote about the mentors vs. know-it-alls when it comes to parenthood. Both dads realted to the post as I had written it one morning pondering something someone had said to me about my daughter and how needy she was. Clayton went on to provide and example of how someone confronted his wife about how her son still using the bottle while shopping.

What I liked about Clayton’s comment was that people only see what is in front of them and not the work his family puts in to try and wean his son off the bottle. Listen to the show and see how Clayton would have handled the person had he been confronted instead of his wife. It will make you laugh.

Thank You from the Alliance

We would like to thank Clayton and Mike for taking time to learn about what we do at Papaheroes and letting us share our stories and victories with the parenting community via their show. If you have not listened to the show, you can download it via iTunes (look for The Daddy On Board), say hello to them via their Facebook page or follow them on Twitter.

 

Filed Under: Education, Fathers, Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: , , ,

Courageous

January 25, 2012 by 1 Comment

 

For the past few months, I’ve heard numerous people talk about Courageous. “A movie that every father needs to watch”, they said. They were correct.

Let me start by saying, I cried like a little girl. There. I admitted it. Now we can move forward. Remember what I said back when I wrote about The Human Torch? Well this movie takes that to a whole new level.

I’m not going to spoil it for you, but let me say that the movie encourages any father to become better at it. To follow God’s guidance and make sure we up-bring our children correctly. But that’s not the end of it. By becoming better fathers, we become better neighbors, better co-workers and better human beings.

The movie has drama, comedy, action, suspense… EVERYTHING. I was baffled by the amazing talent the Kendrick Brothers showed with the script, as well as the talented actors they chose to portray their characters. I will purchase the DVD as soon as I see it. But even more, I plan on buying the book on which the movie was based. I will make the resolution. And you know what?, you just became my witnesses.

Now, turn off your computer and head out to get the DVD. I rented it at my local RedBox machine, I’m sure you have one near by also.

Here’s the preview to get you started.

If you saw it or will see it now that I’ve mentioned it, drop us a line on the comments sections. I’d love to now what you got from the movie. What you learned, and best of all, what you will apply on your life now that you’ve seen it.

Filed Under: Fathers, Papá Heroes, ParentHood, Wisdom Tagged With: , ,

I’m a Parent Obsessed with Nutrition

January 23, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Organic Market Greens and Organic Artesanal Bread

Lately my friends and family on Facebook have been posting pictures of what they give their kids for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. More than 90% of the time I am asking about where the vegetables are on the plate. I get the “They don’t like that stuff”or “This is what they like to eat.”

I am guilty of becoming something I do not like about other parents when it comes to food. I obssess about what my daughter consumes. Since day one, I knew I wanted to make her food and not buy it from a jar. I also researched the types of proteins she would need from plants and grains since we are vegetarian in our home.

My Health Choice

One of the reasons I made the switch to vegetarianism was because I pass kidney stones when consuming too much animal protein and calcium in the form of cheese. Do I crave a skirt steak with chimichurri sauce from time to time? Yes I do! I would be lying to you and myself if I said I didn’t. Do I want to go through the pain of passing kidney stones? No I don’t!

My daughter’s grandfather and uncle on her dad’s side produce kidney stones. I see how abuelo takes medications for his stones and I just don’t want that for my daughter. My daughter has grandparents on medication for diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol.

Hard times means poor food choices

When I was in elementary school our main source of income was a small corner store. This was completely eliminated due to a fire burning down the complex, leaving my family almost homeless and making it difficult to purchase healthy food. We ate canned meats like potted meat, spam, and corned beef hash.

The joke in some Puerto Rican households is when times get tough or the weather is bad, all you need in your house is a can of salchichas (vienna sausages), crackers, or bread. As our financial situation got better, so did our food.

Food Snobbery Kicks in

Recently my cousin posted on her Facebook wall that a can of corned beef hash is going for about seven dollars. I couldn’t believe how much the cost has gone up. Of course everyone who commented said that it was the best thing to eat but complained about the price. But being the obsessed parent with nutrition I had to look for information on the recall that happened in 2010.

The consensus was that even with the recall that happened, it was something their children and families enjoyed. I chimed in and said if I were to eat meat again, I would buy seven dollars worth of organic food instead of canned meat. In retrospect, I think what I wrote could have come off like I was a food snob.

Every moment is a teaching moment

The United States Department of Agriculture or USDA along with the White House came up with a new food plate instead of a pyramid. This new diagram shows the portions of dairy, protein, fruits, vegetables, and grains you should have on your plate. Harvard Medical School decided to come up with their own diagram . It ommitted dairy completely from the chart, adds healthy oils, and exercise as part of a regimen for a healthy lifestyle.

What I like about the Harvard diagram is that they explain that eating red or processed meats on a regular basis can lead to major health risks such as heart disease, diabetes, and weight gain. These are all the conditions my daughter and I are predisposed to due to our family history. It also goes in line with what we do in our home.

Buying Local Organics in Puerto Rico

We have started to purchase food from local organic farmers at a market in San Juan, Puerto Rico. The movement of Community Supported Agriculture is alive in Puerto Rico but many families don’t know about purchasing boxes from local farmers. We are lucky that my parents and cousin grow plantains, bananas, papayas, mangos, avocados, and have chickens who produce organic eggs.

I have even started growing my own collard greens along with some coriander and basil. I won’t go as far as buying a chicken coup because my dog JuanGa would not be happy about that.

As parents do you obsess about nutrition?

Do you buy organic or sustainable foods or do you just pick up whatever you can get at the supermarket?

What diagram resembles your family’s plate of food?

Filed Under: Choices, Family, Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: , ,

A Crib Life

January 11, 2012 by 6 Comments

I saw this video today, and besides giving me an idea for a future DaddyKnows strip, it made me laugh at this Daddy’s right intentions. A shame, he did not think his idea through. What do you guys think?

If you can’t see the video, hop on over to YouTube!

Filed Under: Fathers, Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With:

Parent Mentors vs Parent Know-it-Alls

December 20, 2011 by 7 Comments

When we found out we were going to be parents last May, it was a total shock for my mate and I. Well let me say that I was in shock for about three days and could not wrap my head around it until I started telling my immediate family. My neighbor and cousin who helped during my “kidney stone” (which I thought was the issue) where notified before many other people.

I threatened my mate with all sorts of things if he posted the information on-line with folks we had just met, write about it in his blog, or even with his extended circle of friends on all social platforms. Since it was my first pregnancy and due to other health issues, I just wanted to be safe and wait till the first doctor’s visit to make sure that the blood tests were correct. As soon as I started telling my closest friends and when people would see me, they began to give advice on what I should and shouldn’t be doing during my pregnancy.

I received unsolicited advice from a lady who saw me eat my only bag of chips throughout my nine months because I had not taken a snack with me in route from one doc’s appointment to the next. Yes I snapped at her and said that I eat healthier than most and one bag of chips was not going to hurt the human who was almost on her way out.

Great Advice from a True Mentor

I remember one of our mentors who has become one of our Parent Mentors writing on Twitter to some of  us who were in the same boat as new parents-to-be , “Los futuros nuevos padres preparense. Dondequiera que vayan con su bebé va a venir una persona con opiniones y consejos. paciencia!” or  “To the future new parents, prepare yourselves, where ever you go with the baby, along will come some person with opinions and advice. Patience.”

A Year Later

Almost a year later we have heard lots of advice and opinions on how we are raising our little lady. And every word our Parent Mentor said rings true and is the first thing that pops into my head when someone asks us her weight, height, eating habits, sleeping habits, if she is a good baby, if she is walking, what to do if she is not sleeping through the night, why we are not giving her a t-bone steak, etc.

We have several people who we consider our Parent Mentors because they have been mentors for us before we even found out we were going to be parents. Their way of telling us things comes from a good place of wisdom, knowledge, and the fact that they too were new parents. Some are single parents, some are not parents but who have the wisdom of parents, some are two parent families, some are parents of kids in their twenties, in college, and elementary school children. They also don’t judge us with harsh looks or words, instead they have a way of telling us that  there are other ways of doings things to help our daughter progress.

The Parent-Knowit-Alls

We have run into the Parent-Knowit-Alls, those people who have the genius child that walked at seven months, who now speaks five languages, and is an engineer with their legos. They will tell us that the baby is too needy, she needs to cry to open up her lungs (she is breastfed and exercises her lungs frequently), she better get her vaccine shots on time or else, she better eat meat (since we are vegetarian) or she will be weak and frail.

I will sometimes just listen to what they say or just outright disagree with them when they say things that don’t make sense to me with current facts. Some of these folks were parents long ago and don’t realize that we have evolved. I have disagreed with some things the Parent Mentors have said, but throughout the first year, all the advice and opinions have helped us with our daily adventures with our daughter.

Follow your Gut Feelings

To the new moms and dads, go with what you know, listen to those who have been there, weed out the advice and opinions that don’t jive with you, and put into practice what your heart tells you. Once you get over the first year, there are more adventures to come. So I hope I don’t sound like a Parent Knowit-All , but a new parent coming into her own and finding interesting articles for other new parents to read about from what things you can do with your little ones for Christmas, to advocating breastfeeding, preparing homemade baby food and having your baby eat real foods.

The best piece of advice I got from two veteran parents was that Vicks is great for swelling.

How do you act when you get advice from Parent-Knowit-Alls? 

Do you have a Parent Mentor?

Photo credit by diyosa

 

Filed Under: Lessons, Papá Heroes, ParentHood Tagged With: ,

Glue

December 8, 2011 by 1 Comment

The sun had already set on the horizon. The day had brought long hours and busy minutes. The seconds had taken triple as long to pass. At last, the time to go home had arrived and Daddy jumped in the car. Master Yaddle was waiting for him to finish buckling his seat bealt, when Daddy said: “Go! Let’s get outta here!”

The car raced on the highway. The lights of the road painted beautiful white/yellowish colors upon the car’s windshields. The roar of the engine channeled the rage the couple was feeling, from a incredibly long day. Although classical music played on the radio, they listened to heavy metal. Being the wisest one, Master Yaddle spoke first: “We need to calm ourselves. They can’t see us like this”. Daddy nodded in agreement, and the music changed back to Mozart.

Almost an hour had gone by. The fresh cold air of San Lorenzo’s mountains dressed the atmosphere with a most amazing Puerto Rican Christmas Spirit. The sound of the guitar and the “Cuatro” was felt as soon as the doors of the car were opened. Daddy looked around, as if to see where the music was coming, when the house’s door opened and his baby Boy shot right out of it. His Princess followed; running towards them both with open arms. Whatever was left of the day’s rage vanished in an instant. Master Yaddle smiled with closed eyes while enjoying the close embrace her daughter had given them.

A few seconds later she noticed, that something was not right. Even though her boy had hugged them in excitement, his eyes were watery and his chest filled with sadness. Daddy looked at Master Yaddle and without the need for words they both thought their lateness was the culprit of their son’s tears.

They all said their goodbyes to Tita and Tito. The car, once again, embraced the family and took them home. At home, Master Yaddle tried to learn why her son was so blue. She picked him up, and with much love, looked at his eyes and said: “What’s wrong, honey?” The boy held his breath for a second, and tears started flowing from his eyes. His sister came over and brought his book bag. Apparently she knew what was going on. Daddy observed the scene with anticipation. The boy got off from his mother’s arms, opened his bag and started looking for something that lay inside. When he took it out of the bag, Daddy understood exactly what his son felt. He had felt the same a long time ago.

Batman was broken. His top half had been severed from his bottom half. The boy’s toy was dead to his eyes. Mom got down on her knees, while dad, took the corpse from his hands. Princess took a step back and hugged her Daddy’s leg in hopes that everything would be settled. Dad felt a sudden chill up his spine and water filled his eyes. Master Yaddle swallowed her feelings and simply said: “I’ll make it better, honey.”

The next morning, while Dad cooked up breakfast, the Sun rose and smiled upon every living thing. It’s warmth cleared the coldness of the night with perfect timing. Brother and sister came to eat their meal, while Master Yaddle walked silently over to her son. Daddy turned with a great smile on his face, while his daughter tried to look at what her Mommy had on her hands, behind her back. In anticipation, the son jumped from his seat and with the rays of the sun in his face gave his mother a wide smile which was the result of a mended Batman that lay on his mother’s sticky hands. Glue had saved the day.

Filed Under: Comfort, Family, Papá Heroes, ParentHood, Wisdom
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