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Positive Thoughts for Karla Michelle Negron

January 13, 2012 by 16 Comments

In our household we celebrated the New Year with Great-Grandmother and Great-Uncle at our home in Puerto Rico. Just the five of us talking, eating, listening to music and playing with our daughter. Our dog was a little stressed from all of the fireworks happening around our neighborhood.

No Mas Balas al Aire

For many years in Puerto Rico there has been a campaign during the holidays that calls on all citizens to not shoot guns in the air, or in Spanish, “No Mas Balas al Aire”, to celebrate the coming of the new year. Unfortunately there are people who don’t adhere to this campaign and every year someone gets hurt.

As we were counting down the seconds, lots of firecrackers and fireworks were going off, so you can imagine that my dog was looking around to see where the noise was coming from and was stressed out. As we were underneath our gazebo that is made of cement, Raul kept on telling me to stay under because no one can decipher a gunshot from a firework.

I decided to go upstairs and check out the fireworks with the baby from the window and she was a bit scared with all of the noise. So I decided to go back down and rejoin the family. Overall it was a great night for our family and was quite peaceful give an take the noise.

Victims of New Year Bullets

But for several people around the island, especially one girl of fifteen named Karla Michelle Negron, things did not bode well. Karla Michelle is a victim of a stray bullet and has caused her to be on life support since Jan 1st. Today the parents have to make a decision of whether or not to take their daughter off of life support. (Updated link in English)

Acts such as this one happen in the states as well and I read about a little boy who like Karla Michelle, was a victim of this crime and he died when a stray bullet entered a church and struck him, leaving him dead. Parents who have had to suffer the loss of a child over such an irresponsible act must feel helpless, and I know I would.

Who are the bad guys?

Who do you blame for this when stray bullets cause death or severe harm to a loved one? Those people who do these things don’t think of the consequences of their acts. As a child, I grew up in a not-so-friendly neighborhood and heard lots of gunfire all year round. And this held true during New Years when several people I know would do this for fun. But the police cracked down on this type of behavior and as an adult I hardly ever heard of people in my old neighborhood doing this. If someone from the old neighborhood happens to read this let me know if this is true.

Can Karla Michelle’s parents go hunting down the people or person who did this to their daughter?

No they can’t because the cowards who do this type of action, keep on living their life while Karla Michelle fights for her life. Sometimes I sit and watch our daughter who is learning so many things everyday. I try to think about what her future will be like and what she will do and who she will ultimately become, and then I stop. I don’t know what will happen in the next second, minute, hour, day, or as the writer Glennon Melton at  Momastery explains the difference between chronos time versus kairos time when people tell her to seize the moment as her children grow up.

Karla Michelle’s parents were seizing the moment during a time of celebration and had to stop because someone committed a crime that harmed their daughter. This senseless act turned a time of celebration into a time of fear and desperation to save the life of their daughter.

Positive Thoughts

I don’t know if most of the people who will read this pray to Allah, Jehovah, Buddha, God, or don’t pray at all. But religion aside, at this moment if you could take the time to send a positive thought to Karla Michelle, her parents, and family members, who are cherishing every last second with her.

Parents all over the world lose children to disease, war, and senseless crimes everyday. Let us hope that as the seconds go by, that Karla Michelle’s parents can be strong for one another and that their family and the community at large will help support them during these seconds, minutes, and hours that they have with their daughter.

At PapaHeroes we are sending our strongest prayers to the family and all those who are taking care of Karla Michelle at this very moment. We will update you on her progress as she battles for her life.

Update:

As a parent it is with great saddness that I update this with the outcome no parent should have to go through. According to the local news outlets, Karla Michelle has passed on. Our condolences to the parents Carlos Negrón and Evelyn Vélez, family members, friends and her community.

 

Photo by agilitynut

Thanks to PRDailySun.com for updated information.

Thanks to WSBTV Georgia for the link.

Filed Under: Comfort, Family, Papá Heroes Tagged With: , ,

Glue

December 8, 2011 by 1 Comment

The sun had already set on the horizon. The day had brought long hours and busy minutes. The seconds had taken triple as long to pass. At last, the time to go home had arrived and Daddy jumped in the car. Master Yaddle was waiting for him to finish buckling his seat bealt, when Daddy said: “Go! Let’s get outta here!”

The car raced on the highway. The lights of the road painted beautiful white/yellowish colors upon the car’s windshields. The roar of the engine channeled the rage the couple was feeling, from a incredibly long day. Although classical music played on the radio, they listened to heavy metal. Being the wisest one, Master Yaddle spoke first: “We need to calm ourselves. They can’t see us like this”. Daddy nodded in agreement, and the music changed back to Mozart.

Almost an hour had gone by. The fresh cold air of San Lorenzo’s mountains dressed the atmosphere with a most amazing Puerto Rican Christmas Spirit. The sound of the guitar and the “Cuatro” was felt as soon as the doors of the car were opened. Daddy looked around, as if to see where the music was coming, when the house’s door opened and his baby Boy shot right out of it. His Princess followed; running towards them both with open arms. Whatever was left of the day’s rage vanished in an instant. Master Yaddle smiled with closed eyes while enjoying the close embrace her daughter had given them.

A few seconds later she noticed, that something was not right. Even though her boy had hugged them in excitement, his eyes were watery and his chest filled with sadness. Daddy looked at Master Yaddle and without the need for words they both thought their lateness was the culprit of their son’s tears.

They all said their goodbyes to Tita and Tito. The car, once again, embraced the family and took them home. At home, Master Yaddle tried to learn why her son was so blue. She picked him up, and with much love, looked at his eyes and said: “What’s wrong, honey?” The boy held his breath for a second, and tears started flowing from his eyes. His sister came over and brought his book bag. Apparently she knew what was going on. Daddy observed the scene with anticipation. The boy got off from his mother’s arms, opened his bag and started looking for something that lay inside. When he took it out of the bag, Daddy understood exactly what his son felt. He had felt the same a long time ago.

Batman was broken. His top half had been severed from his bottom half. The boy’s toy was dead to his eyes. Mom got down on her knees, while dad, took the corpse from his hands. Princess took a step back and hugged her Daddy’s leg in hopes that everything would be settled. Dad felt a sudden chill up his spine and water filled his eyes. Master Yaddle swallowed her feelings and simply said: “I’ll make it better, honey.”

The next morning, while Dad cooked up breakfast, the Sun rose and smiled upon every living thing. It’s warmth cleared the coldness of the night with perfect timing. Brother and sister came to eat their meal, while Master Yaddle walked silently over to her son. Daddy turned with a great smile on his face, while his daughter tried to look at what her Mommy had on her hands, behind her back. In anticipation, the son jumped from his seat and with the rays of the sun in his face gave his mother a wide smile which was the result of a mended Batman that lay on his mother’s sticky hands. Glue had saved the day.

Filed Under: Comfort, Family, Papá Heroes, ParentHood, Wisdom

What will happen to us?

July 12, 2011 by 5 Comments

Fear by: ~FreeBirD®~ on Flickr

Part of living in our reality, means being aware of the worsening state our society is living. Each day, the reporters on the radio and TV news tell us how many murders, rape and hate crimes have happened since you went to sleep.

As adults, we feel fear, but remember that we must go on, and continue with our lives. But that constant reminder of a deteriorating environment can become a horror movie for our children.

Yesterday, my daughter came up to me and asked: Dad, who will take care of us if you and Mommy get killed by a bad person? I checked with my brain and remembered that it was in fact, my 5 year old daughter who spoke those words to me. After clearing the shock out of my face, I reassured her that she should not be worried by such things. I explained that if something were to happen, she would stay with her brother with either her grandparents or her Godparents. I quickly changed the topic. Left it for later, when we talked with the Boss: God.

Soothing the spirit

After remembering all the folks who need God’s help, I prayed: “God, don’t let any harm come to us. Deliver us from evil always, and give peace to my daughter and son, whom I love so much and wish to be at peace. Comfort them in body and soul so that they know that everything will work out fine. After all, it is You who are guiding our lives, and your guidance is best.”

Her eyes watered a little and I knew she was still worried. That’s where Master Yoda (my wife) stepped in, always in the look out of our feelings (as a man, I tend to find solutions to problems, on the logical side) and said: “We will always be with you. Don’t worry.” My mind raced and the fear of a promise no one can keep disturbed me for a second, then I saw what Yoda was promising: “We will always be here… be it in body or in spirit.” That was something I could live with.

Where did all this come from?

After she was calm, I asked her: “Where did you get the idea, we might not be here for you someday?” and she replied, “From you“. I was flabbergasted. She explained how, when I told her months ago, that she had to know her mother’s phone number and mine by heart, just in case she had to call us for an emergency; she wondered who would she call if the emergency was with us. That we were in trouble and needed help. That, plus all the times she’s heard us adults talking of how things are going down the drain, alarmed her to the point, where she feared for her and her brother’s life without us.

The adult inside the child

Children listen to us. Even when no word is uttered, our actions speak even greater volumes to them. We must be cautious how we interact with others around them. If we leave them to analyze us with no explanation, unnecessary fear could grow inside them. I can’t begin to describe how worried I feel now that I know she is worried. We live in a tough world, who is currently surprising us with even worse situations. As much as we can, security has to be a part of the gifts we give them. No one can function with fear on their veins. And my little Princess thinks and analyzed much more that what I gave her credit for. Her mind is maturing and can comprehend more that what we give her. She can read between the lines.

All you need is love

The Beatles had it right! Teaching my children that all we need is God’s love, soothes and calms them. My daughter understood that there are things she cannot control, but there is someone who is controlling things so that we’re all right. I just wish the worries would’ve never entered her mind. At least not yet.

Have you experienced a similar situation with your child? How did you manage it? I sure could use the Heads-up!

Filed Under: Comfort, Fear, Papá Heroes, Parental Advice

Telling Kids the Whole Story

July 5, 2011 by 2 Comments

Foto Credit: AlittleFlood on Flickr

Some time ago, one of my kids was going to have a simple operation done. I knew that the whole process would be tough on her. I was freaked out. Big time. So I couldn’t even fathom how she felt. I remember the doctor’s assistant asking on several occasions if I was Ok. I’m pretty sure she knew how I felt after we were noticed that the operation needed to be done. Once again, my face was unable to hide my feelings. I remember walking towards the car, holding my daughter’s hand and trying to decipher how on Earth would I let her know what was coming.

Give it to her straight!

Given my face problem, I knew my daughter could not be kept in the dark about what was coming. I also thought it was cheating (as a Dad) if I did not prepare her for that day. So I opted to tell her the truth, but how? when? where?

When in doubt, consult Master Yoda.

My wife agreed with me, we had to tell her. So we decided right then and there to give her the truths in small dosages. So from that moment to when the operation day came, we told her everythig. The documentation, the tests, the operation itself and everything else. Often I saw fear crawling out of her eyes. So I offered comfort.

A spoonful of Sugar helps the medicine go down.

Mary Poppins had it right. By mixing loving support (sugar) with truth(medicine) in small percentages, we were able to explain everything that was going to take place. Every test that would be done, how it would be done. The anesthesia the part where the doctors would tell us to leave, the pain afterwards, everything. Little by little, the whole truth was accepted. Comfort and security kicked fear out!

It was all over.

When everything was said and done and the pain left, my parents asked how did we eradicate fear. They had never taken me to have any surgery, so it was new to them also. It was the truth. Not lying saved the situation. By accepting everything and putting it into words, a kid felt like an adult and the parents, like heroes.

Filed Under: Choices, Comfort, Fear, Parental Advice

Spirituality and Children

June 24, 2011 by 1 Comment
angel girl

Photo Credit: Ellie 19

Making sure our kids pray and communicate with God is no easy task. It is at that time that they want to play, eat, sleep, bathe, study, run for president or call their friends. Anything seems better that taking the time to remember all the good things we’ve had that day, and all the things we can improve tomorrow. Every day, Prayer time has to become friendlier to them so they allow themselves to do it. As adults we can stop what we’re doing, and easily close our eyes to pray. If we really want to, of course. You see, prayer is an important protection charm we’re teaching our children.

In those minutes that we remember all the people we know that need something from God, all the relatives that we love and wish them well, all the persons we don’t know of but have heard, that need God, we are stepping out of ourselves for a while and thinking of the needs of others. I’m sure that if most of us could do that more often, the World would shift to a brighter day.

Whenever they feel fear, we close our eyes and tell God about it. On our way to school, we make sure to tell Him about what we prefer to receive that day. What we wish we do not get. And since saying stuff out loud programs our brains to make sure we get just that, God just helps us on our journey.

So, no matter how difficult it may be to begin, prayer is always on our to-do list. It is a great way to make the children humble and honest not only with others, but also to themselves.

Filed Under: Choices, Comfort, Fear, Papá Heroes Tagged With:

The Protection of a Night Light

June 19, 2011 by 3 Comments
15: Night light

Photo credit:Emembeth

To us adults, being in total darkness at night probably means nothing. To my daughter, being in her room in pitch black conditions is like dropping her in an uncharted planet by herself. A night light is like a safety beacon that assures her, she’s still in the safety of her room. It helps her remember that her parents are a few steps away to bring her the security she needs.

 

In the same manner, a spiritual light in her heart will create a faithful belief that everything will be alright. If she really feels it, she’ll know that there’s an unconditional love in her that guides her and protects her. Even if you don’t like to talk about God at home, teaching kids that there is an order to things, that we do not live in chaos, that anything we do to others will come back bigger in return is helpful and necessary. They will get the message: we need to be good.

 

Being a Parent is like being a Night Light

We have to shed light in the darkness. We have to point out mistakes and give advise. This lifetime job, will help them keep on the right track. We are their lighthouses in the middle of the night in a rocky shore. Take the challenge and be that light. Shine as bright as you can and keep away all those monsters that hunt them as kids and later on, in real life.


Filed Under: Comfort, Fear, Papá Heroes